What I've Always Wanted
by FireFly92
Summary: One Family. Nine people. Two Parents, Five brothers, Two grandchildren. What happens when Orochimaru messes with them? One brother physically dies. One on the inside. Can Genma bring the old Raidou back before he loses him to the cold, hateful one? GenRai


_I am Raidou Namiashi-Umino. I am part of the small family that Iruka Umino has left. I am his older brother. We have two other brothers, and one late brother. Our late brother is the eldest, Arashi Uzumaki, the Yondaime of our village. Then there is my older twin, Asuma Sarutobi-Umino. After Asuma are myself, and then Kotetsu Hagane-Umino. The youngest is Iruka. We are not that close like we used to be… Ever since our father and brother were killed by the Kyuubi, the Nine tailed Fox Demon. When Arashi had died, he sealed the Demon inside his own son, Naruto Uzumaki. Iruka has taken the job of watching over Naruto, when he could.__ Our 'mother' is Jiraiya Sarutobi. Our father was Jason Umino. Jason was Orochimaru's half-brother. Because of that, we have Orochimaru's curse marks, as well as Jason's Psychic Abilities. We don't mind the Curse Marks; we've gotten control over them now. Asuma has a son too. His son is Shikamaru Nara. Asuma had married Shikaku Nara and he got Shikaku pregnant with Shikamaru. As a result, they married at sixteen. When Shikamaru was four, they divorced. Iruka and Kotetsu have crushes, but have never been in a relationship before. Me? Well, I have never had a relationship before, or a crush. Nobody will like me, and I shouldn't get my hopes up, right? Right, I shouldn't get my hopes up…_

"Hey Raidou!" Kotetsu ran up, hyper.

"Yes Kotetsu-san?" I asked politely. Out of all of my brothers, I am the reserved, polite one.

"Izumo asked me on a date!" He said. I smile.

"That's great Kotetsu-san!" I told him. I was happy, really I was.

"Raidou, Kotetsu!" Iruka ran over to us.

"Iruka, I've got awesome news!" Kotetsu grinned.

"Me too!" Iruka said.

"What is it Iruka-sensei?" I asked.

"Kakashi asked me out!" Iruka smiled.

"Izumo asked me out too!" Kotetsu grinned. As I smiled, my heart broke. Now I am the only one who has never gone out. They even had a first kiss…

"What about you Raidou? Has anyone asked you out?" Iruka asked.

"Iie Iruka-sensei, nobody has asked me out, and I doubt anyone will." I said.

"One, that's not true, Two, drop the honorifics!" Kotetsu said. He had never liked the fact that I treated them like I would my best friend. And I treat him as I do the Hokage. I gave Kotetsu the '_Shut up, you know it's true and I will not drop the honorifics_' look.

"Well, somebody will ask you out; really soon." Iruka smiled. We turned to him, and saw his eyes were lilac purple, instead of brown. That means something good is going to happen. You see, Iruka's Psychic Ability is seeing the future. Kotetsu's is telekinesis, telepathy and mind reading; it sort of goes together as one. Asuma's is cursing people and Arashi's was sensing a person's electrical wave. He knew who was coming at him, by sensing the waves. Mine… I haven't tapped into mine yet… I don't mind not having a Psychic Ability.

"Who?!" Kotetsu asked.

"Can't tell." Iruka said, meaning '_Use your Power stupid_'. It's sad that I can read into my brothers' secret meanings all the time. Nobody else can, so I don't know why I can. I can even read into other peoples' secret meanings too.

"Hey Iruka-sensei, Kotetsu-sama, Raidou-sama." Shikamaru walked over. That meant: _Chouji-kun asked me out, what the hell do I do?_

"Damn… Guess we should ask Asuma… He's the only one that's done this before!" Kotetsu sweat dropped after reading Shikamaru's mind. I watched them walk off, sighing. I headed to the Mission Room, ready to receive a mission. Instead, I ran into Mother.

"Jiraiya-sama?" I asked, confused.

"Raidou-san, how are you?" He asked. '_**Get your brothers, Shikamaru, Naruto and Shikaku.**_' I nodded.

"Hai Jiraiya-sama." I disappear quickly. Soon, we all gathered by the KIA memorial.

"Nandeo? What's going on?" Naruto asked. '_**Something is wrong, isn't there? And what does it have to do with me?**_' Shikamaru dragged Naruto off and explained to Naruto their heritage and the truth. They came back over.

"Well Kaa-chan?" Kotetsu asked. '_**Who did what to you?**_'

"Nobody has done anything Kotetsu." Mother read his secret meaning too. He's the only one Mother can read easily.

"Then what's wrong? You have never needed Shikaku, Shikamaru and Naruto to be brought into our family matters." Asuma said. It meant the same.

"Arashi is alive." Jiraiya said. '_**Orochimaru has Arashi.**_' I paled. The others glanced at me, confused. Except Naruto and Shikamaru.

"He's alive?! Really?!" They gasped.

"How?! How does he have Arashi?!" I demanded our Mother.

"What?" They asked. Jiraiya frowned.

"You do have his gift." He said.

"W-what?" I asked.

"You have Jason's Ability. Reading the Secret Meanings of what everybody says and does. It's better than mind reading, because a person could lie when their mind is being read. Reading Secret Meanings can only gather the truth. Whether they lie or not, whether they think they're doing something good or bad, you will know the truth." Jiraiya said. I paled. So Orochimaru does have Arashi.

"How does he have Arashi-san…" I asked.

"It's not just Arashi." Mother said. '_**He has your father too.**_'

"Anybody else?" I ask, ready to throw up.

"No." '_**Not that I am aware of.**_'

"What are we going to do about this?"

"Tell Tsunade, and hopefully I'll be able to go after them." '_**After you all go after them, I'll tell Tsunade, and join you. **__**Her permission or not.**_'

"Wait, who's got who?" Kotetsu asked.

"Orochimaru has Jason-san and Arashi-san." I said.

"What?!"

"You all go after them under Raidou, I'll catch up as soon as I can." Jiraiya said.

"Hai!" They all said, and we ran off.

"Well, now we know why I could never steal cookies at night when we were kids…" Kotetsu sweat dropped. The other two laughed.

"Yeah, father always read you easily." Asuma said.

"I meant Raidou… But yeah, Dad too." Kotetsu said, and Iruka laughed again. Soon, we caught up with them. Arashi looked directly at us. Orochimaru was asleep, thinking nobody could figure him out.

"Da-!" Iruka covered his mouth, Arashi turning to Naruto.

"Kotetsu…" I whispered, signaling him. Kotetsu nodded, and slowly lifted a kunai out of Orochimaru's bag with is Telekinesis. Slowly, but surely, he cut Arashi's ropes and then Jason's. Jason grabbed Arashi and appeared next to us. We ran into the night, heading for home.

"Iruka-sensei check it, now. It's too easy." I said. Orochimaru sleeping peacefully after Jiraiya had seen them was just too easy…

"Hai Nii-sama!" Iruka closed his eyes. He opened them; blue. Blue meant bad; Very bad. I rounded back, Kotetsu and Jason with me.

"No! Go with the others! They're going to meet up with Jiraiya-sama!" I ordered the two.

"No! If you get into trouble, Dad and I can tell what he's planning." Kotetsu told me.

"Kotetsu is right." Asuma had followed, along with Iruka, Shikamaru, Naruto, Arashi and Shikaku. I frowned, but let them follow. It'll be over quickly anyways. Orochimaru appeared.

"Oh… So it seems you've got warning of my trap…" '_**Well done Iruka…**_'

"Iruka-sensei?" I turned to him. His eyes were still blue.

"Asuma, curse Iruka!" Jason ordered.

"What?! I'm not going to curse my baby brother!" Asuma said.

"Do it!" I caught on as Iruka moved to Orochimaru's side.

"No!"

"IT ISN'T IRUKA!" I shouted. Asuma's eyes widened as he realized this. But it was too late. The Iruka-copycat changed into Kabuto.

"Why thank you Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto smirked at us.

"Now, we just have to wait for Jiraiya and Tsunade…" '_**Soon my plan will be finished! And Konoha will fall!!**_'

"Why?" I asked.

"Why what?" Orochimaru hissed.

"Why do you want to destroy our village? If it's just because they chose Arashi-sama as Yondaime, than it's fruitless revenge. We'll rebuild Konoha. Make it stronger than before." I bluffed. '_**You're a sick bastard. You'll never truly destroy my home.**_'

"You lie!" Orochimaru hissed.

"Try me." I said. '_**Frightened? Well you should be. I'll kick your ass! Here and now if I have to!**_'

"A challenge? You challenge me?! Ha! You couldn't even defeat an Academy Student!" Orochimaru laughed. '_**Then say hello to Iruka in Hell for me!**_'

"I can do more than sit and watch as my comrades…No…As my _family_ gets killed…" It's the first time I used that word for them in a long time…

"They left you for Dead when Kyuubi attacked! You think that's family? Well you can join them in hell then!" Orochimaru hissed.

"Good… See you there bastard…" I had appeared behind Orochimaru, and stabbed him through the Heart, killing him as our Grandfather, Sandaime Hokage, sacrificed himself for his village while fighting Orochimaru.

"Tell Sandaime… We'll see him too…" I hissed as Orochimaru slid to the ground.

"Raidou…" Arashi's eyes were wide. He's never seen me kill before…

"He killed Iruka." I said, tears falling to the ground.

"W-what?! N-no!" Naruto said, ready to cry.

"He couldn't have! I didn't pick it up in his thoughts!" Kotetsu said.

"I read every word… Every meaning… He killed Iruka…" I said. Naruto and Shikamaru started crying. As Kabuto tried to escape, Arashi and Asuma appeared in front of him.

"Where is Iruka?!" They demanded.

"Why should I tell you?!" '_**He's long dead. It doesn't matter.**_'

"It does matter you sick bastard! Where the fuck is our brother's body?!" I shouted.

"In the old Konoha Shopping District!" Kabuto paled.

"Kotetsu, hold him. He'll need to be still for the curse." Asuma growled. Kabuto paled even more. Kotetsu used his Telekinesis again, holding the Sound nin down.

"No! Stop! D-don't!"

"It won't take long. And you won't even know what it is until it happens." Asuma said.

"Please! Don't curse me! I beg you! Have mercy!" Kabuto cried.

"Oh it is mercy… It would hurt worse if you knew what I'm cursing you with." Asuma growled, eyes changing to green. As soon as Asuma finished cursing Kabuto, we ran to find Iruka. We see ANBU there already, along with Kiba and Akamaru. Kiba was crying. Kotetsu ran to the boy.

"I-I was j-just t-training A-Akamaru f-for b-body r-recovery… W-we f-found I-Iruka-s-sensei…" Kiba cried into Kotetsu's stomach.

"Shhhh…." Kotetsu whispered. Soon, Jiraiya, Tsunade, Izumo, Kakashi, and Genma appeared. Jiraiya's eyes held nothing in them. Jason ran to him and hugged him.

"Raidou, report."

"He's dead."

"Who's dead? Iruka? Yes I know Iruka's dead." Tsunade said.

"Yes Iruka. And Orochimaru. I killed the bastard." Kakashi's eyes were just as lifeless as Jiraiya's.

"You killed him?"

"He did. And Asuma cursed Kabuto." Arashi said, comforting Naruto.

They held a funeral for Iruka. The children who were taught under him, past and present, all cried. Kotetsu cried. Asuma cried to himself. Arashi let a few tears fall. Jason got Jiraiya cry, even Tsunade cried. I didn't though. I was strong for them. Strong for the child Iruka left behind. I was strong for Kankurou of the Sand Village. Iruka had gotten pregnant at thirteen, and had Kankurou. Kakashi was the father, but Iruka gave Kankurou to the Kazekage to be protected. Kakashi had just found out, and Kankurou cried into Kakashi's chest as the man comforted the boy. Genma looked at me, worried.

After the funeral, we all got leave for a while; to mourn. I didn't though. I returned to work the next day.

"Raidou, you should at least mourn him. He was your brother." Tsunade told me.

"Orochimaru told me something before I killed him. As pathetic as it seems, he was right. They aren't my family. A family would have tried to save me back when Kyuubi attacked… They didn't even bother to try to help me escape…" I whispered. It was pathetic. They could have at least _tried_.

"Raidou Namiashi! That is not true! They did try! _Iruka_ tried! He wasn't even allowed into battle and he _tried_!" Tsunade shouted.

"He was kid! He was screaming for Jiraiya and Jason the entire time! I had to hold him back!" I shouted back. Our fight was heard throughout the building. Naruto stood at the doorway, Shikamaru with him. Their eyes still held sorrow and hurt from the loss of Iruka. No matter what she tried, Tsunade knew I had one the argument.

It's been four months, and now it's December. I have been promoted to ANBU Healer. I watched coldly as the legendary 'Rookie Twelve' trained. They are no longer Rookies, but Chuunin. People still call them the Rookie Twelve though.

"Kakashi-sensei… It's gonna be the first Christmas without Iruka-sensei… Dad wanted to know if you'd spend Christmas with us…?" Naruto said softly to Kakashi.

"… Hai… Naruto-kun…" Kakashi said. Naruto turned to me.

"He wants you to come too… ANBU-san…" Naruto said. I glared under my Ferret mask. He sensed my glare and winced, turning away. Since I had killed Orochimaru, I had been cold to everybody; even Genma.

"_The worst is over now… And we can breathe again… I want to hold you high and steal my pain… Away…_" Shikamaru's Psychic Ability ended up being hypnotic singing. Genma walked up. He was promoted to ANBU Hunter. We are on the same Squad.

"ANBU-san… I was wondering if you'd like to tell me what you want for Christmas…" Genma asked from under his Otter mask.

"Go away ANBU-sama." I hissed.

"ANBU-san I won't go away." Genma hissed back.

"Go away or I'll leave you to die on our next mission!" I snarled.

"… Fine… I'll meet _my_ Raidou in Hell then…" Genma said softly.

"… Genma's right ANBU-san… Ever since Iruka's death… My twin died with him…" Asuma said as he watched Shikamaru hypnotize Ino.

"Your twin died when Kyuubi attacked." I said coldly.

"Damnit Raidou! Where the old Raidou?!" Genma asked, fighting tears. I just watched as he broke under the pain. A true Shinobi doesn't break. A true Shinobi uses the pain as a weapon against the enemy. But then I read his words…

'_**Where is the Raidou I fell in love with…?**_'

"Do you mean it…?" I asked, my voice starting to break.

"Mean that you've become a complete asshole? Yes I fucking mean it!" Genma cried.

"No… The hidden meaning... When you asked where the old Raidou was…" I said, voice cracking more. A tear rolled down my face, but nobody saw it. It was covered by my Ferret Mask.

"… If you mean if I fell in love with that Raidou… Then yes… I meant that too…" Genma whispered. My Ferret mask cracked as I started crying. Crying for Iruka's death… Cried for Kiba discovering his body… For Kankurou's loss… For Kakashi's pain… For Naruto's suffering… For the shit I put them through for four months… For Mom and Dad's reunion being under Iruka's death… For the emptiness that was filling all at once… It hurt that every feeling, every emotion flooding into my heart all at once. It hurt badly… I wanted the pain to stop… That's when I felt arms around me. I looked up, and saw Mom hugging me. He pulled my mask off, letting my tears be shown to the others as he kept hugging me.

"It's alright Raidou… It's alright…" '_**I've waited for you to return home… I love you…**_' That made the pain worse. After all the shit I've put him through; he still loves me. Asuma hugged me next.

"I love you Ototou…" '_**I'll always love you Little Brother…**_' He was followed by Shikamaru and Naruto; at the same time.

"We forgive you…" They whispered. '_**We love you…**_' Kankurou stood off to the side, not knowing if he was allowed to hug me. After the others hugged me, I looked at him.

"Was I that bad to you Kankurou-kun…?" I whispered. He smiled and hugged me.

Christmas Eve

"You never answered me ANBU-san." Genma said.

"… I already have what I always wanted…"


End file.
